how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
