You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize