When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
