Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
