Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
What did we do last night that was yellow?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
