the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
