Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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