I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
