i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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