But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
