And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
