There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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