oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
