I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
