I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Boobs are out for the taking
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
