i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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