i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
