i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
