we have officially lost it.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
