I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
