Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
