I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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