sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
