Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
