I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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