Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm sobbing to NWA
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize