This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My bed smells like the plague
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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