All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
