how do flat chested girls get laid?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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