exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize