I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sext me about skeletons
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
