Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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