He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
