I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
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we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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