Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
