apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize