I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
