brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
