Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
