Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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