Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
