youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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