guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
try to milk me bitch
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