i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
