Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
