No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...