It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
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He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
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I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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