Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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