You're so nebulous sometimes
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love makes seman taste better
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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