I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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