you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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