i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
