I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
