I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
