Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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