The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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