Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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